Chaos

My mind is in such a chaos.
What she did is confusing me.
But she said we are still friends.
But she ignores me.
I understand that i was annoying.
But i was just concerned.
I apologised but am not forgiven.
All i know is i want her.
No one else.
Since the time we meet i want only you.
Just you.
I dont care.
I will do whatever it takes to do it.

Wise Words From A Wise Man (Applies to all religion)

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science hasWith
GOD , the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD Good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella.Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Is Satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor : Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . . .

Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD , Tasted your GOD , Smelt your GOD ? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor : Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't..

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,a Little Heat or No Heat.But we don't have anything called Cold.We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.There is no such thing as Cold.Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.We cannot Measure Cold.Heat is Energy.Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?

Student: Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?
(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . . No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that You have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !

The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

NB:I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation . . . and if so .. .You'll probably want your Friends / Colleagues to enjoy the same . . . won't you?Forward them to Increase their Knowledge . . . or FAITH.That student was Albert Einstein.

My friends who i adore!

This is NurBanun Atina Idris. I just call her Banun. This girl is damn random. She is good at playing the acoustic guitar,singing and acting. She is good at playing games as well. She is the only one girl i know that likes to play games. The one thing i will remember about her is that i will never sit next to her because there was a few times that when she was sitting next to me her air liur splattered all over my arm. Yuck. Thans Banun.

This is Adam Dewind. I call him Adam. He is a big size guy. He likes to annoy me all the time. But he has a big heart. I always ask him for advice. Know him from college. Adam has always cracked me up. The 1st time was when he broke a chair in class and fell. That moment i will always remember. Adam is a guy who is intelligent,quiet wise,sarcastic and loves songs and gaming.

This is Raja Aliff. I call him Alif. He used to be thin. But now his not. I know him from college as well. At 1st i thought this guy was damn lansi fella. But its just his face. I will remember this guy because of the disco ball he has in his car. He likes to take pictures. Majority of the pictures here was taken from him and edited by him. Alif likes to listen to music and cars. Alif is kinda intelligent but not in maths,sarcastic at times,has his own style,buying clothes and has a variety of perfumes and gaming as well.

This is Fidi. Know him from college. I call him Fidi or Di I will remember Fidi from a lot of experience with him.

That i shall keep to myself. Except for 1.All i need to say is "I only had 2 wei". Fidi is really funny. He is athletic,energetic and very spontaneous and gaming.

This is Thiligan Ramakrishna. He claims he drives a Mustang but its not a mustang. This guy is really indian.1 time i spilled beer he got so angry he scold me. He is quiet good at pool.

This is Weng Chi. I call him Weng. This guy is sarcastic.Well he comes from Johor so go figure. This is nuts from all the stories he told me. Drives at Warp speed. Likes food and bloody movies. Hates cats. He is very brutal when it comes to killing cats.Gamer as well.

This is Victor Tan. I just call him Vic. He is very knowledgeable about guns and information. He is very teched up. He gets hold on things other people dont have. He is one guy i wont mess with ever. He is intelligent about games, a hacker, deadly, and a gamer as well.

This is Geetha Rajasegran. I call her Sayang,Geet or my Affair. Hehehe. She is Kumars sister. Am really close to her until other people thought i was going for her. I think of her as a sister. She is very manja. I like to manja her alot. She burps alot and says i taught her that but i didnt. She seeks attention and i provide to her. Learned how to park and drive with confidence because of me. She is my dancing partner. I love to dance with her. She always like it when i put her to sleep at night. And now im scared to sit in the car with her when she drives. All me fault. But at least she got better.

This is Kumar Rajasegran. I call him Kumar. This guy is a real close friend of mine. He just love cars. And now he is addicted to games because of us gamer. And is good at playing sniper. I will always bully him in gaming and real life. I love you bro. Jangan marah. Hehehe. He is considered a bit lurus bendul. But has a great heart. Been there for him when i can.Especially that 1 particular night. He got better at drinking because of me. I will remember him because of one particular night that he puked on Illas brand new shoes at La Bodegas at BSC. After drinking 4 beers. Hahahaha.

Sheath

I am the raging sword,

I cut down my enemies,

With no mercy,

I kill non stop,

Endless terror and agony,

She is my sheath,

She ends my endless nightmare,

She controls me,

Adapts to the way i am,

Always there for me,

Harmony and calmness,

My ending suffering has ceased,

I am able to live,

To be happy,

The bond has been formed,

And i am complete.

Strength

Strength is what i need,

The things that are happening,

Are just too much,

Aunt not doing so well,

Mum try's to avoid,

But at last made her go,

But its harder then expected,

Tears flowed from her eyes,

But not from mine,

Cant hold any longer,

Went out to shed my tears,

Please give me the strength,

To be strong for her,

That is what my mum needs,

From me.

Dream

I slumber in my sleep,

An awaken in a land,

A place i have never seen,

Never been to,

Never known,

I awaken in a forest,

Filled with mystical aura,

I am filled with a sensation,

That i have never felt,

To explore in this wondrous place,

Alone and at peace,

It rains and fell so relaxed,

I walk in the rain,

And aimlessly,

Wondering what i shall encounter,

Never knowing the possibilities,

I have changed for the better,

Hope is no longer within me,

It has long left,

Better to be this way,

Then to hope and broken,

Even though i am broken,

What is broken cannot be broken,

But it will be broken even more,

I am content to what has been decided,

The choices that has been made,

What has happen to me,

In the outside world,

Has made me come here,

To fell this feeling.

NO CARE.

Mist!!

A mist has taken form in my path,

I look around me,

The road looks untroubled,

But i know it will be rough,

I walk into the mist,

Not to care what happens,

Never knowing what would happen,

The mist of uncertainty.

Exile

I walk away from this city. Full of people who has many things to gain and have. I leave the city to those who embrace it and enjoy it. I walk down the path where people avoid and wish not to enter. I will stroll into the forest of the unknown and will endure it all alone. I leave the city where my family and friends and the one i care about among its high buildings and society. I will take this journey alone. Nothing to gain and nothing brought with me. I enter with what i have with me now. A sword with no sheath. This sword represent my anger, my soul, my heart, and my mind. This sword will be ruined by the air that i breath and rust with rain that drenches it in moist. I love the light rain that drops onto my body. It heals me but yet it would not help me with my journey. Rain does not come often in this forest. I cut my way through this forest with my sword. Hacking and swinging freely with no remorse. Without a sheath i my sword will diminish and will no longer assist me on my journey. In this forest i am alone. I will endure this alone and with no one to guide or assist me. My burden is for me alone. I will not trouble others for my own mistakes and my own fate. Love is nothing in this forest. My feet has no strength to move but i shall push on to no end. I will walk this path no matter what the challenge i will face. I will be tired and hurt and bleed but i will push on my own. In darkness there is no light to guide me. Yet the light from the moon will guide me to where my path is meant to be. This guide is my instinct that i have to make my choices. Even though it is the wrong choice but i will make a path to my own goal. I will try to do what i must even though i will not gain or get anything of the outcome. My eyes is tired but i force myself to push onwards. My hands no strengh to lift up my sword. I let go and fall to the ground. I face the sky to witness the starless sky. My eyes grow weary and i fall into a deep sleep. As i try to fight the moment to give up and open my eyes i see an aurora. The magnificent aurora which the one for me and i hope, i wish, and i pray that i will have this aurora and this lovely feeling that i feel when i see this magnetic scenery as i fall into a deep sleep and slumber into the dream of painful events and difficult time. And i await the arrival of this being that possesses the powers of the aurora to awaken me from this slumber and take me home where i belong.

Hope!!!

Hoping is overrated. All my life i have been hoping. But now im through hoping. Im just going to try and not fear the outcome. I had confesed what i needed. And today i have an answer. Its not what i was hoping but at least its an answer. I feel nothing anymore. No remorse or pain or anything. Maybe im just used to it by now. I respect her decision. I have nothing else to say. Its the way she is. She fears and feels that way if anything is done. She is so sure of it. But i cant do anything about it. All i can do now is just completely just continue with what im doing. Hide within my shell and hope i have the strength to hold the walls that are closing in. But i know hope is nothing but a vague word. And i know that my shell will thin out and break. And i will forever be broken and not be fixed.

Walls Closing In

Everything that is going on in my life is trembling downwards. I feel so much tension and tired. Everyday i feel like im losing this fight to move on on carry on with this life. My heart is aching so badly and my mind is so tired of thinking and my soul is as if its burned out of fuel to even sustain within me. The walls around me is closing in so fast to enslave me within its power. I can only shield myself by creating a cocoon around myself. It is weaken by the passing second. What is my salvation