Hope!!!

Hoping is overrated. All my life i have been hoping. But now im through hoping. Im just going to try and not fear the outcome. I had confesed what i needed. And today i have an answer. Its not what i was hoping but at least its an answer. I feel nothing anymore. No remorse or pain or anything. Maybe im just used to it by now. I respect her decision. I have nothing else to say. Its the way she is. She fears and feels that way if anything is done. She is so sure of it. But i cant do anything about it. All i can do now is just completely just continue with what im doing. Hide within my shell and hope i have the strength to hold the walls that are closing in. But i know hope is nothing but a vague word. And i know that my shell will thin out and break. And i will forever be broken and not be fixed.